Blessed and Broken......

and so on..........

Every year, when I write my first blog, I think about past years and I always get curious about the current year, and wonder what it will bring us.  I always think about  how blessed we have been year after year and I always wonder whether or not this will be the year the ball drops on us.  I am pretty sure the last time that ball dropped was in 2009....so I guess we were due for another......

We have been crazy busy this year.  We have either been out of town or had hunters down every weekend.  Yesterday we were able to make it to church and he was definitly preaching to me, it was all about why God lets us suffer.

I have looked back on all the times I have suffered, there have been too many to count, but I have always stayed faithful.  Never really questioned "the why" and had faith that a blessing would show its pretty face soon after my suffering.  In a perfect world "the why" would be lovely, but I have faith that things, the good and the bad, all work together to form the "perfect plan" for my life.

I will always believe that.

Cody and I started the new year with exciting news.  We were going to bring another little one into the world.  I would be 13 weeks today, but the Lord had other plans.  We lost our baby two weeks ago. 

I wish I knew why....

I want to be angry....

but I choose not to be.....

I will continue to be faithful.....

I will continue to be thankful.

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living Bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me

O, the fullness of His love
O, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothes immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This song through enldess ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way