Starting over......

In TEXAS, baby!

We are now, officially, living in Brady!

Everything we have gone through this year has prepared our hearts for this move.

I am once again reminded that our God is Faithful.

That our God is good.

Even in darkness and sadness,

He remains faithful.

We loved Woodward.  We loved the people, the town and most of all we loved O Bar Ranch.  I was feeling restless at the end of  March and couldn't shake it.  I finally talked to Cody about it and he had been feeling the same way, except, he had been feeling that way for awhile.  We had a long talk and realized he was getting burned out on his dream job, his hobby.  He was just tired.  He was doing a 3 man job by himself and working 7 days a week.

Your not supposed to get burned out on your hobby.

Even though he was still enjoying his job , he needed a break.  A day to regroup, not think about the ranch, a mental break that he was just not getting  and couldn't get being the only one up there.

I could tell he was wearing down and tried to help him as much as I could.  I thought that was enough at the time.

After we had our long heart to heart I had two options.  I could have gotten SO completely and utterly mad because he hadn't spoke up sooner or I could help him with a solution.  He hadn't brought up his feelings before because he knew how happy I was up there.  I loved my job as nursery coordinator with our church.  The town was full of things to do with Jones.  We could see/hang out with Cody whenever we wanted and we lived on a piece of heaven!

Who the heck would give that up?

My little piece of heaven had started to be a constant reminder of loss. A reminder of what could have been, what should have been and I felt like I was a ticking time bomb in that house, that was getting ready to explode at any time.

My heartache put me and Cody back on the same page.

A few days later this job fell in his lap.

We are doing the same thing but with lots and lots of help and days off on a weekly basis. 

Excited for our new adventures, closer to home, on another piece of heaven.

Excited for this dark cloud hanging over me to move on.

Excited and beyond thankful for His never ending Grace.

And beyond thankful for my two boys who love me unconditionally through the storms and sunny days.

Moving on....

This year has been one big blur.

It's already the end of June and I can't remember getting past January.

I finally feel like I am coming up for air.

Feeling.

Living.

Loving whole-heartedly.

I've neglected the ole blogger lately and have been writing a lot in my Love Letters to Jones journal.  It's been good for my heart.

Good for healing.

Good for moving on.

And being completely honest without the whole world seeing.

One day Jones will get to read it.

Understand who his parents are.

Why his parents are.

And truly understand how much he is loved.

We've got some exciting changes coming up.

Wish our computer was hooked up.

I have a gazillion pictures to post.

I might have to make a post with strictly pics soon.

What I was raised on....

There is just something about a country song that stirs ALL kinds of emotions deep down in my soul. Literally. No joke, y'all.

I get all kinds of giddy in my car listening to "good" country.  All kinds of giddy when any country award show comes on and I am ALL kinds of giddy because we just so happen to have fabulous seats next year at the ACM awards in Dallas.

Yes, there is plenty of drinking, cheating, getchyou some of that crap out on country radio but the gist of it, oh my soul!

I was so giddy tonight during the CMT awards that I walked(or maybe danced) a whole hour on the treadmill.....

Country music takes me back to my late teenage years, post horrendous high school days, when I came out of my little sheltered bubble and had all the confidence in the world and danced my heart out every night to country music with my roommate.  Country music made me day dream of how I wanted and did not want my life to be.  

Country music, now, makes me reminisce about my "good ole days" and my "not so good days."  My good days of young love with Cody and doing things right for the first time.  The start of me being honest with myself and honest with Cody and my "not so good days" of trying to please everyone but myself.  At one point I think I had told so many lies, trying to please everybody, I couldn't keep them straight and  relationships/friends started to crumble.  Country music was my safe place.  My healing place at that time.  Getting lost in someone else's song and working out all my BS.

So now, when I hear a great country song that takes me back to my giddy days, I get to look over at my husband and remember why I fell so deeply in love with him the first time and become giddy all over again.