Sometimes you find Gold at the end of the Rainbow..sometimes Not.

How do you tell someone they have cancer? I always imagined that it would be real dramatic, making a scene after you hear the news, and taking one look at your doctor's face, you would just know something was horribly terribly wrong. I don't think that is the case anymore.

Last March Cody saw a drop of blood in his urine, went to the doctor, everything checked out and they found no sign of blood. Sent him home and said if it happened again to come back for more test. We had forgot about it because nothing else came of it. Last Sunday Cody saw more, this time a lot more. Monday we went to the doctor here in Woodward. They checked and found no trace of blood. Since this wasn't the first time for Cody they referred him to a Urologist. His appointment was suppose to be tomorrow (Friday) but someone called Monday afternoon and asked if we could go to the hospital and get a CT on Tuesday and then bring the result to the Urologist and he would go over the results with us. When we arrive at the hospital everyone was surprised we had the Urologist we had and that being from Texas and new to the area, how we got in to see him so quick. They had nothing but good things to say about him and said he was the best and people come from all over just to see him.


When we arrive at the Urologist he goes over Cody's CT and says it looked good and no sign of trouble. Since this has happened to Cody before, he wanted to do a scope, just to make sure he wasn't missing anything. The Dr. let me go in the room with Cody while he was doing the procedure and the whole time the Dr. is talking to us saying, "yup, looks good, nope, nothing here, Oh' wait, just a sec, yup here is something right here, a tumor, would you like to come look at it ma'am?" I think Cody was in so much pain, not sure if he heard that word or not, I sure did. My heart dropped to my knees and I looked and saw the cauliflower shape tumor in my husband's bladder. The doctor tells Cody to get dressed and kindly tells us to meet him in our original room. Me and Cody are in shock, but still, just a tumor, right? That's all it is, lets stay calm till we get the facts. The Dr. proceeds to draw us an illustration of what is in Cody's bladder and just blurts out the word cancer like you blurt out the word cookie to a child. The energy in the room was real calm, not really emotional, the doctor was very respectful but matter of fact. He gives us really good odds, says they caught it early, it's super small, you will have to come back for the next 10 years to get regular scopes and the prognosis looks good. He tells us it needs to come out and ask if we had any other questions. I only had one, "Is it a tumor or is it cancer?" He calmly replies, "It's definitely cancer." He gives us a piece of paper stating when the surgery will be and we leave.

As we leave, we are just in shock, maybe this is a dream, maybe we misunderstood him, maybe we should go back and ask him if we heard him correctly, your 27 years old and you can't have cancer, your my life, you have my heart, I need you here to guard it forever, I love you, this can't be happening to us, this only happens in movies, I love you, did he really just say that, no, yes, maybe, I don't know, what are you thinking, not sure, what are you thinking? Then the tears flow like a raging river. We had our 20 minute emotional breakdown in the parking lot of the Dr. office, got our composure and started making our phone calls.


When we make it home we just lay on the couch while our phone's blow up with calls. We had all day to try and process this information. We laughed, we cried, we felt sorry about it, we prayed about it, we were in denial, still shocked, we had our little pity party, we thought negative, we thought positive and then we thought "we will kick this in the ass!"

We will know more Tuesday when they go in and take it out.


I just read in the dictionary, one definition of cancer said 'an evil influence.' Well maybe we did find gold because we have God on our side fighting with us and not against us.


My love, my life, my everything good, we will beat this.