Day 17

This little guy has made a huge impact on my life recently

A pretty good impact though! Everyone says how much life changes after you have a kid and how much your relationship with your other half will change after children. Our life hasn't changed that much except it takes longer for us to get out of the house and be on time for an appointment:) It's not that life has changed much but a feeling I have has changed. There is more emotion, a deeper love, and a deeper connection with Cody. We enjoy when Jones takes naps because it gives us time together. Then when he sleeps so long we miss him and want to go wake him up. It seems like every night on the news there is a story about losing a child or some crack head being abusive to their baby. It has always pissed me off and I could never imagine how someone could do that, but now actually having a baby and thinking that makes me an emotional wreck.

Everyone always talks about how as soon as you see your baby you just have this flood of emotions and you think how you could love someone SO much. I didn't have that feeling then. I was in shock the first week I think. I couldn't wrap my head around what actually happened. I could hardly remember little details and think "did that really happen?' How can your body do that and survive. I had that flood of emotions probably a week and a half after he was born. I was rocking him to sleep one day for his nap and the water works came a flowing. It was like hyperventilating tears of joy, love and thinking if anybody tried to hurt my little man, momma goose would come pounding on your head! I was still in shock that he was actually here and I still couldn't believe it. I didn't want to put him down, I just kept kissing him and smelling him and just hugging him up. Apparently he didn't like it and woke up squirming and fussy and couldn't get out of my death grip fast enough. I layed him down and he went back to sleep. Every time I look at him I feel a flood of emotions, butterflies in my stomach and I get weak at the knees and now I can't ever remember life without him!